Monday, March 18, 2013

I feel like..

This comes from last night when I was rolling around in a lot of pain and my mental status was way down. These are the moments I go through every little thing in my head.. Last night I thought how lazy am I? I see all my friends at uni at the moment doing something with their lives and then I look back at mind.. I look at the fact that I do nothing with my day and that's due to the fact I spend most days riddled with pain.. There's a part of me that feels so helpless.. I want to be working 9 or 10 hours a day.. But physically I can't.. I spend times almost passing out because of the pain, and that's where I stop and think. I feel lazy.. That's all. I want to prove that I am worth something and that I can do it. Right now if someone asks me what I'm doing. It honestly sounds like I'm the laziest person around and I feel like people judge me for that.. I want to go back to working non stop.. I miss it.. It gave me something to think about.. I just physically can't..

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