Sunday, March 31, 2013

Does self talk help? Or am I just going crazy?

I don't know if many of you are into the self talk or self healing sort of thing, but I was willing to try.. Thursday just passed I was working 10:00am-3:00pm and then 6:00pm-10:00pm, now you have to understand that the previous day I had only worked a three hour shift and almost passed out due to pain, I cannot sit down and at that point pain killers just are not going to cut it. I was dreading Thursday, not the going to work bit.. The fear. The fear of being in pain.. It scares me into waking up of a morning.. I guess the unknown of what the day will bring..

So I guess that lead me to my self talk that started on Wednesday night.. I was trying to bargain with my body! I said that if it let me get through my basic 12 hour day, i didn't care how much pain I was in on Friday! (Ha. Liar.) so I went to sleep praying. I prayed that I could make it through the day without too much hassle..

I woke up through the entire night in bouts of pain and I felt like crap.. That morning I rolled out of bed in agony, again trying to bargain with my body! It was basically laughing at me like it would never happen.. 6 pain killers later.. It was still killing me.. I was miserable.. I went off to work and noticed maybe 4 hours after pain killers that I was breathing normally! Now you have to understand that when the pain is severe.. I find it very hard to breathe! I wasn't in pain! I felt normal! On top of the world! And guess what? The pain didn't kick in till about 2 hours before the end of my shift, I was 100% willing to take that!

I tried the self talk again on Friday night as I was working 8 hours on Saturday.. Now the pain was in and out on Saturday.. Not completely gone.. But not so severe the whole time.. Again.. I'm willing to comply!!

So, a 4 hour shift tomorrow.. Lets see what my body wants to throw at me!



1 comment:

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